My four-year-old has been confined to her bedroom for an all-morning time out. She is might ticked about it. Over the course of the last three hours, she has screamed, cried, kicked the door, and asked to come down more than once. I am standing my ground because I am mighty ticked, too!
G has, for at least the past two years, interfered with her older sister's sleep in one capacity or another, to the point of driving me insane. G is not a kid who needs a lot of sleep. M is just the opposite - 12 hours might be enough for her. But given the opportunity to play with her little sister, M will forgo sleep until she falls face forward on the floor.
They used to share a bedroom. But night after night, my husband and I found ourselves irritably stomping up and down the stairs, telling them to get back into bed and go to sleep. A 7:30 bedtime is all fine and good, but when your youngest is keeping your oldest riled up, and at 10:30 they are still not asleep, it's a problem. No amount of threatening, punishing, or wringing of the hands seemed to matter. So when M was about to start kindergarten, we decided the only reasonable solution was to separate them.
So a month later, M was in her new room, the walls painted a cheery pink, with her own space and an opportunity to get more sleep. G was alone in her room. Bedtime playtime was over and they were both asleep within 15 minutes of going to bed. Problem solved!
Until G, the ever-resourceful hard-headed child that she is, decided that the morning hours worked just as well for play. Being deprived of her sister at night was something she had to deal with, but by morning, she could generally wait no longer. So now, at 6 a.m., she was there, knocking on her sister's door to see if she wanted to play. M, who would not otherwise be awake, would then drag herself out of bed, get her wits about her, and then proceed to play full force with her sister.
And we, now downstairs, were also awakened early by what sounded like a heard of elephants about to come through the ceiling.
This new situation has been going on since last summer. Again, no amount of punishment, warnings, or outright threats have dissuaded G from waking her sister.
I suppose I should be grateful I don't have the problem many parents do - that of my kids coming into my bed at varying times of the night to sleep. My children, thankfully, have never been interested in spending time in our bedroom. But this waking the sister up issue has become my Everest. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I mind the two of them playing together. I don't. In fact, I'm very grateful they get along so well. I want them to be close. And I'm not trying to exercise heavy-handed total control over my kids. But M goes to school at 8:15 and doesn't get home 'til 4:15 - a really long day for a five-year-old kid who is on the young-side of the students in her class.
And so, this is why G is in her room. Previous punishments that included removal of privileges haven't worked. I simply don't know what else to do to get through to her. She certainly doesn't like being confined there, so I would check it off as a yes in terms of effectiveness. I know I will probably have to repeat numerous times until she gets the message. Hopefully she will, eventually, get that message and the fun involved will not be worth the punishment involved.
Given her personality, though, I know this is only one of many such battles I will fight with her. G is simply the type of kid for whom the reward is usually going to be well worth the risk and some day, she will be tasked with making her own decisions about what is worth it, and what is not. I know this will serve her well in life. But I hope my actions now will at least teach her later that her choices, all choices, involve the possibility of both a favorable and an unfavorable outcome and I hope she always considers both.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Friday, November 28, 2008
Black Friday Virgin
As a 38-year-old woman, one would generally assume I've experienced a few Black Friday shopping sales in my time. Ha! - but it's not so! Until today, I have never, ever been lulled out of bed at an ungodly hour just for the benefit of a sale.
There is simply no savings big enough to warrant getting up at 3 a.m., dodging the deer congregating on the side of the road, and waiting in line outside of Kohl's in the frigid November dark, so that I can save a few bucks on a set of holiday sheets. I will not risk life and limb and start my day out in a state of general frustration all in the name of saving a few bucks. I clip coupons. I am frugal to the nth degree. But I do pride myself on knowing where to draw the line.
And then I had kids. Who grew quickly out of the baby, doesn't-really-matter-what-you-get-them stage, into the I'm-going-to-study-the-target-holiday-catalog-and-tell-you-exactly-what-I-must-have stage.
Now, at five and almost four-years-old, my kids are still not too particular, but there are definitely a few must-have's on their lists. I'd already patted myself on the back for buying a whole buttload of gifts from K-mart, where they patiently wait for me to rescue them from layaway, and getting a very early jump on my shopping. But my oldest is in the market for a Razor scooter this year and they start at $28 - $32. So when the big red double dot ran an ad for a sale at $22, I was intrigued. Six - $10 is enough of a savings on something I specifically wanted, to consider venturing out. Besides, I figured with the economy in the toilet, the stores were bound to be less crowded than in years past. I was going to do it!!!
Still, I refused to get up at the crack of dawn, instead having a leisurely morning, complete with coffee and bagel, and finally headed out around 9:45 a.m.
As I approached the store, I began to feel anxious. What if it was a zoo in there, with people tugging and grabbing at the last scooter on the shelf? What if they were all out? What would the parking lot be like? I'd never done this before. I had nothing to go on.
I got to the parking lot. Not too bad - crowded, but I was still able to find a respectable spot close to the front. I parked and briskly walked to the doors, determined to get there before the other people who'd parked near me. I walked in, strolled past the carts ( I only wanted ONE thing. No carts for me!!!) and back to the bike section. No scooter of the brand and design that I wanted (read - the ones on sale). I asked a clerk, who said everything was out. A woman came up next to me and said she'd thought they were only $17 but I somberly informed her they were not, as I pulled out the flyer to prove it. The OTHER big box store had scooters, she said, but they were crazy crowded. I shrugged and decided maybe I'd try the other Target by the mall.
On the way out, I overheard conversations in which shoppers said they'd been shopping since 6 a.m. Crazy!
So I walked slowly out to my car and decided to try the other store. If they didn't have them there, I'd give it up.
Ten minutes later, I found myself driving past the mall, which was packed with cars, and on to Target. Somewhere along the way, my husband called wondering where I was. As I approached the store, I got anxious again, but again, the parking lot was not too bad. The store was crowded, but not annoyingly so. I race-walked to the back of the store.
Success! They had tons of scooters! I grabbed one, checked it thoroughly for any defects, and walked triumphantly to the personal care section in search of toothpaste, before paying and heading back out.
I was done. Black Friday conquered. Maybe next year, I'll try two different stores! Maybe I'll go out earlier! Maybe not.
There is simply no savings big enough to warrant getting up at 3 a.m., dodging the deer congregating on the side of the road, and waiting in line outside of Kohl's in the frigid November dark, so that I can save a few bucks on a set of holiday sheets. I will not risk life and limb and start my day out in a state of general frustration all in the name of saving a few bucks. I clip coupons. I am frugal to the nth degree. But I do pride myself on knowing where to draw the line.
And then I had kids. Who grew quickly out of the baby, doesn't-really-matter-what-you-get-them stage, into the I'm-going-to-study-the-target-holiday-catalog-and-tell-you-exactly-what-I-must-have stage.
Now, at five and almost four-years-old, my kids are still not too particular, but there are definitely a few must-have's on their lists. I'd already patted myself on the back for buying a whole buttload of gifts from K-mart, where they patiently wait for me to rescue them from layaway, and getting a very early jump on my shopping. But my oldest is in the market for a Razor scooter this year and they start at $28 - $32. So when the big red double dot ran an ad for a sale at $22, I was intrigued. Six - $10 is enough of a savings on something I specifically wanted, to consider venturing out. Besides, I figured with the economy in the toilet, the stores were bound to be less crowded than in years past. I was going to do it!!!
Still, I refused to get up at the crack of dawn, instead having a leisurely morning, complete with coffee and bagel, and finally headed out around 9:45 a.m.
As I approached the store, I began to feel anxious. What if it was a zoo in there, with people tugging and grabbing at the last scooter on the shelf? What if they were all out? What would the parking lot be like? I'd never done this before. I had nothing to go on.
I got to the parking lot. Not too bad - crowded, but I was still able to find a respectable spot close to the front. I parked and briskly walked to the doors, determined to get there before the other people who'd parked near me. I walked in, strolled past the carts ( I only wanted ONE thing. No carts for me!!!) and back to the bike section. No scooter of the brand and design that I wanted (read - the ones on sale). I asked a clerk, who said everything was out. A woman came up next to me and said she'd thought they were only $17 but I somberly informed her they were not, as I pulled out the flyer to prove it. The OTHER big box store had scooters, she said, but they were crazy crowded. I shrugged and decided maybe I'd try the other Target by the mall.
On the way out, I overheard conversations in which shoppers said they'd been shopping since 6 a.m. Crazy!
So I walked slowly out to my car and decided to try the other store. If they didn't have them there, I'd give it up.
Ten minutes later, I found myself driving past the mall, which was packed with cars, and on to Target. Somewhere along the way, my husband called wondering where I was. As I approached the store, I got anxious again, but again, the parking lot was not too bad. The store was crowded, but not annoyingly so. I race-walked to the back of the store.
Success! They had tons of scooters! I grabbed one, checked it thoroughly for any defects, and walked triumphantly to the personal care section in search of toothpaste, before paying and heading back out.
I was done. Black Friday conquered. Maybe next year, I'll try two different stores! Maybe I'll go out earlier! Maybe not.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Kindergarten, Part II
The first day has come to a close. I managed to busy myself and was waiting in the carpool line promptly at 3:30 p.m. And the verdict is ... M - had a great day! Hooray!
Now, as is par for the course with her, I didn't get a huge amount of information. They played on the playground, did a little work, had story time in the media center, had a nap. But she was excited, not as tired as I'd expected, and for me, that's good enough for now.
Now, as is par for the course with her, I didn't get a huge amount of information. They played on the playground, did a little work, had story time in the media center, had a nap. But she was excited, not as tired as I'd expected, and for me, that's good enough for now.
Kindergarten
The big day has finally arrived - our oldest daughter, M-, started kindergarten this morning. My feelings are ... mixed.
We did all we could to prepare - we attended the orientation, went to the Meet the Teacher event, studied the supply list and went on a mother-daughter shopping trip to find the perfect backpack. I tried to make the last few days uneventful, tried to make sure she was caught up on her sleep, tried to make sure she was ready, tried to make sure I was ready.
Despite all that, this morning went okay at best. M- didn't sleep much last night. She was too excited. Though she was in bed at 7:30, we found her still awake two hours later. She fell asleep shortly after, but was wide awake at 1 a.m. in the bathroom.
What can I do? It concerns me, of course. She's a kid who needs her sleep. I'm terribly worried that she'll be a blithering mess by lunchtime, that the first day assessments won't go well, and the counselors will think she's a remedial student at best because she won't be able to function enough to respond properly, and she will be subjected to an entire school career of not living up to her potential! (Okay, really, I know I'm being overdramatic here).
Then there was the whole school drop off thing. We were told not to make a big deal of the first day - to treat it as a normal day and get them used to their routine. They recommended not bringing the kids to their classroom so they wouldn't get upset. We decided on a happy medium - we would drop her off at the front of school so she could walk in herself (M-'s decision), and then we'd park and meet her in class.
Carpool drop-off was sort of rushed. The carpool woman didn't really help guide her to where she needed to go and I unhappily watched from the back window as my daughter stood uncomfortably alone in front of the school trying to figure out what she was supposed to do. I should have told the woman it was her first day. I should have told M- to go to the front door and walk in.
We assumed there would be volunteers or teachers to guide the new students and there were. They just weren't there when M- came into the lobby (she did eventually make it inside the building). So when we got inside, there she was, all of four-years-old, wandering down the hallway amidst a group of first graders and not having a clue where she was supposed to be.
A counselor did finally find her, around the same time my husband saw her, and M- made it to her classroom, a little more disoriented than we'd hoped she'd be. Meanwhile I was still waiting in the office for my turn to register as a visitor.
I bit my tongue but politely let the office staff know I was unimpressed with their handling of the situation. I finally made it to her class, and she was doing fine, sitting by herself and drawing. My husband said she'd readily walked into the classroom and made herself at home.
We made sure the teacher knew she was excited, but likely tired, gave M- a big hug and told her to have a great day, and left.
On the way out, we spoke to the counselor again, found that she would be the one conducting the assessments, and let her know as well that M- hadn't slept well last night in hopes that she would keep that in mind. The office staff apologized when I went to check out, for the way things had gone.
We will think about M- often today, and wonder how she's doing, whether she's having fun. We wonder, my husband and I, where the time went - I swear it seems like just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital - and how we got here and where we're going. I will try to make the transition easy for our youngest, who will miss her sister as the routine of school becomes more apparent, and she realizes her constant companion has moved on to bigger things. Most of all, I will just try to remember to enjoy my time with them, take a deep breath, and hope for the best.
We did all we could to prepare - we attended the orientation, went to the Meet the Teacher event, studied the supply list and went on a mother-daughter shopping trip to find the perfect backpack. I tried to make the last few days uneventful, tried to make sure she was caught up on her sleep, tried to make sure she was ready, tried to make sure I was ready.
Despite all that, this morning went okay at best. M- didn't sleep much last night. She was too excited. Though she was in bed at 7:30, we found her still awake two hours later. She fell asleep shortly after, but was wide awake at 1 a.m. in the bathroom.
What can I do? It concerns me, of course. She's a kid who needs her sleep. I'm terribly worried that she'll be a blithering mess by lunchtime, that the first day assessments won't go well, and the counselors will think she's a remedial student at best because she won't be able to function enough to respond properly, and she will be subjected to an entire school career of not living up to her potential! (Okay, really, I know I'm being overdramatic here).
Then there was the whole school drop off thing. We were told not to make a big deal of the first day - to treat it as a normal day and get them used to their routine. They recommended not bringing the kids to their classroom so they wouldn't get upset. We decided on a happy medium - we would drop her off at the front of school so she could walk in herself (M-'s decision), and then we'd park and meet her in class.
Carpool drop-off was sort of rushed. The carpool woman didn't really help guide her to where she needed to go and I unhappily watched from the back window as my daughter stood uncomfortably alone in front of the school trying to figure out what she was supposed to do. I should have told the woman it was her first day. I should have told M- to go to the front door and walk in.
We assumed there would be volunteers or teachers to guide the new students and there were. They just weren't there when M- came into the lobby (she did eventually make it inside the building). So when we got inside, there she was, all of four-years-old, wandering down the hallway amidst a group of first graders and not having a clue where she was supposed to be.
A counselor did finally find her, around the same time my husband saw her, and M- made it to her classroom, a little more disoriented than we'd hoped she'd be. Meanwhile I was still waiting in the office for my turn to register as a visitor.
I bit my tongue but politely let the office staff know I was unimpressed with their handling of the situation. I finally made it to her class, and she was doing fine, sitting by herself and drawing. My husband said she'd readily walked into the classroom and made herself at home.
We made sure the teacher knew she was excited, but likely tired, gave M- a big hug and told her to have a great day, and left.
On the way out, we spoke to the counselor again, found that she would be the one conducting the assessments, and let her know as well that M- hadn't slept well last night in hopes that she would keep that in mind. The office staff apologized when I went to check out, for the way things had gone.
We will think about M- often today, and wonder how she's doing, whether she's having fun. We wonder, my husband and I, where the time went - I swear it seems like just yesterday that we brought her home from the hospital - and how we got here and where we're going. I will try to make the transition easy for our youngest, who will miss her sister as the routine of school becomes more apparent, and she realizes her constant companion has moved on to bigger things. Most of all, I will just try to remember to enjoy my time with them, take a deep breath, and hope for the best.
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